I have been a person who everyone needs. A
counselor, a confidant, an ego booster. All for their sake, but who
could I actually count on? A good friend of mine told me that I am the
most kind hearted and genuine person she’s ever met. She also said that I
can be so accommodating to other people regardless of their intentions,
and I neglect myself for the sake and approval of others, and that
isn’t healthy. So I asked questions: who would really be there for me
when I needed them? Who would help me without running to someone else,
voicing my problems to others? Who could I trust enough to know that
when things get tough, can actually speak life into me, and be
trustworthy and just be present out of love for me? Those who claim to
love and care for you, can you really call on them when you are at your
worst without being judged for it? This is why trust can be a very
The hardest times of my life I remember a few good
people, who told me that I would get through it, that told me that I am
right where I need to be, and showed me that I am of value. I could
never be more grateful for their presence. These individuals showed me a
different perspective. Showed me how to embrace myself exactly as I am.
These irreplaceable people who haven’t replaced me.
learning to love yourself better is an integral part of adulthood. And
along the way you will have to release some people from your heart. Not
everything and certainly not everyone you associate yourself with is
good for you. This revelation was tough for me to grasp. Because I
genuinely like being there for people. But I need me more. The process
of my well being and health in all cases comes first.
learned to ask questions and build distance between people. Allow their
actions to match their words. And if they don’t align, bless them and
let go. I’ve learned to take a step back from my feelings, question
things and allow myself to trust this process of growing. I’ve also
learned to forgive others and take responsibility for my actions,
because lord knows I’ve hurt some people in the process, and for that I
am sorry. Have I reached enlightenment? No, but I’m learning that life
continuously moves forward and that I have the strength to endure
whatever it throws at me. Life is about growing and being brave.
Learning from your mistakes, not dwelling on them. Being consistent
whether basking in the sunlight or being caught in a storm. So here’s to
a fresh start. A new year. A new focus. A new you. Here’s to a mother
who birthed me. A father who raised me. Siblings who keep me young,
nephews who keep me strong, a teacher who trains me, friends who support
me, and a God who loves me. I’ve got a bright future a head of me.
you to everyone who has stood by me; those who see me with all my
imperfections and still love me. I live my life totally naked, and I am
not ashamed of it.